Growing up means finding yourself through trial and error. Because our personal experiences help define the people we become, it makes sense that we acquire ideas and beliefs separate from those of our parents…which is fine until you have to share a space with them and end up disagreeing on a topic you fundamentally do not want to back down on. Part of growing up is having and expressing a perspective contrary to that of your parents, but doing it with tact is how you know you’ve leveled up in your journey to grow up. Here’s how to stand up to your parents without coming across like a complete dick.
You’re not a bad person or child for disagreeing with your parents. In fact, it’s totally normal to adopt values that differ from the ones you grew up with. However, parents sometimes feel like this means you’re threatening their beliefs. In the end, you have to create your own ideals, some of which will come from them and others that you learn on your own.
If you find that you’re constantly in agreement with your parents, ask yourself why. It’s a statistical anomaly to never have a difference of opinion. In the case that you find yourself agreeing to keep the peace or so you do not have to come up with your own conclusion, maybe it’s time to do a little soul searching.
It’s your right to have a different opinion from the people who raised you. However, keep in mind that the way you react lets your parental units know your opinion comes from a mature place. Because of this, the wisest reaction you can have is none. Respectfully disagree without raising your voice or acting agitated.
Although you’ve had your own experiences, so have your parents. Part of coming across like an adult is letting them speak and hearing their point of view. If the things they’re saying fundamentally go against something you deeply believe in, it’s OK to tell them. Hear them out first and then calmly explain to them your point of view. If they choose not to hear you, it’s OK to end the conversation and leave.
When it comes to your relationship with your parents, hopefully they understand it was their job to teach you critical thinking. This way, you can have a point of view that’s singularly yours and reflects your experiences. Hopefully they realize this and allow you to be an entity that’s independent of them.
Civil discourse is really the route to understanding and accepting people and beliefs that are contrary to your own. No matter how long we’re on this planet, we have room to grow. That said, they’re still your parents and you want to resolve things so you can appreciate and love them while they’re around.
When you finally had to stand up to your parents, what changed in your relationship? How did this affect the man you’ve grown into? Share your story in the comments!
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